What's so great about Great Britain?

It's great to be back in the, USA! USA! I compiled a list of reasons of why we are much better than England, and for that matter, every single country. In order of countries, USA is #1, Canada is #2 because they basically are the USA, and Puerto Rico is #3 because we own them. Not so convinced? Then set down your Communist Manifesto and read this:
"Militry" "Cherio" WTF is that supposed to mean? For a country called England, they really fail and speaking English.
Tea, that's a wimpy drink, grow some balls and drink coffee.
The money isn't Green, how can money not be green? The answer is it can't, which is why I very gladly used pounds (Of what? I never figured that out) as torch fuel for my mini statue of liberty in my hotel room.
They really need to respect us for what we did. "Don't walk on the grass," we saved their asses in WWII, so we basically own that grass.
Paying to go to the bathroom? I would rather pee on the side of a the building, if weren't for us, it would be a pile of rubble anyways.
They have wimpy cars, if I lived their I would drive a full sized Hummer with confederate flags sticking out the window on the right side of the road honking "General Lee" whenever one of their mini cars was destroyed by such a gallant piece of American ballsy engineering.
They need to get some corn syrup, I didn't expect to get a sugar rush on a mere 5 milky ways. I melt a hersheys bar into a cup of mountain dew before I go to sleep in the old country. Either make them properly, or call them "teeth rotting English bars," which seems to be a popular thing in England.
Only one statue of an American president? How about a nice George Washington right beside Richard I, if it weren't for him, they guys wouldn't have Mcdonalds, or airplanes (BTW, they're welcome for both, I'm expecting my card from them in the mail any day now)
Never heard of Ohio? Birthplace of Aviation, the Tomato, Wendy's, Clarke Gable, sorry if they're learned about Oliver Cromwell in school, but there's REAL history to be learned elsewhere.
Anti-gun laws? I'm not going to feel a bit sorry for them when Bears and Palestinians take the country by force. Good thing I got my ten gage loaded at all times right by with my fireworks and emergency gasoline (That's right, gas o fucking lean, not "Petrol") stocks.
They're a bunch of cocky bastards, "Great Britain." We didn't name our country the Great United States of America, but we probably should, because we definitely are.
I'm sure there's more but I have to download Stars and Stripes forever (That's the song I have sex to, it has to be a different version every time or things can get boring) and email Bill O'reilly to make sure we're still winning the war in Iraq.

All In-all, I gotta say, that was the best night of life. I was in a good mood from the start, it was wet, and I knew we were all in it together, and that no force of nature was going to stop '007 from having a truly smashing senior night.

I walked into the band room with a smile on my face, there's always that vibe on senior night. It's a football game, but we're a little less motivated to put on our uniforms, and we just really cherish the people around us. To add to that, I was extremely curios to see how Gary would be acting after I TPed his house the previous night. Word on the street was he was cool with it, but some certain other "Top Dogs" weren't, and apparently he saw one of the people in our group. So, we pulled him aside and just came clean. I couldn't stop laughing just because the whole situation was rather humorous. He said he respected the fact that we drove all the way to Carroll just to TP him. Gary and I have had our quarrels in the past, but I have to say, he is one of the coolest guys I know.

After all the pre-game shenanigans, we went outside, what a fucking blast. I've never played cymbals that big, that hard, for that long, I'm not sure if anyone has, I'm having trouble typing this b/c of pain in my arms. Being out there in the rain, making all persons in front of me def, I really felt like a cymbal player again. All this tympani and drum set stuff is good, but I suppose I'll always be a cymbal player at heart.

I love senior night, just b/c it's so laid back. Who cares if I miss a crash, do a stupid dance, or make up a part? It doesn't matter, it was our night to shine and really just have fun, which in the end, is really what the entire organization is about.

And what about the football game, that was incredibly entertaining. The linemen we're basically holding each other up as they walloped in the mud. We didn't win, but it sure as hell was a close/rememberable game.

During the senior pep-band, it was very clear that we are an awesome class, and that Tom and DJ's "Sunior" status is close enough to being a senior. Cymbals rule, we really do, and Emily finally picked up a pair and showed what she was made of, I think we did every visual we've ever done.  

The final pep-fight march, I didn't even march. I've never been able to stay in step while playing, oh well; I made up for it by playing at even more unnecessary volumes than before.  That's just how I roll.

I went inside and started reading my farewells. You underclassmen really nailed it! I was reading and some, and people remembered all of my mishaps and shenanigans throughout the years. A lot of it was stuff that I myself had forgotten about. It really made we realize how easily we take for granted all the wonderful people around us, all the random shit we can end up getting into, and how we can sadly lose touch with them. I'm glad to at least have provided you all with some amusement, if nothing else. And it won't be boring when I'm gone, there will be someone to take my place.

Sounds like a good night, well, the best part is still to come.

I saw Cheryl, Lillie, and Dizzie running around with no shoes on. As a big advocator of going around barefoot, I had to ask what was up. And, much to my amusement, they were going mud-wrestling. This is the night of my last football game, I already had had a blast, and there's girls going mud wresting. Anyone who's talked to me for a few minutes knows that I'm not one to pass up on such an opportunity. So, I took of my shoes, put my shit in my car, and we went out to field.

My feet went numb, that mud was cold as shit, and we were having a fucking ball in it. I gotta say, the girls were braver than me; they really seemed to adamant on getting very dirty.

There's no way to describe what it's like, you really have to experience it for yourself. However, few people are so lucky to do it on an actual football field with such lovely ladies accompanying them.

We walked back in the school and showed off our utter filthiness, and I finally left.

I took a shower, so I'm no longer muddy, I'm dry, and my arms are starting to feel better. I don't think I could be a better mood, not after a night like that. Thank everyone for the memories, and let's all make London a week-long party.

Time for a movie review

Every once in a while a movie comes out that truly captures the emotions and hearts of an entire nation.

These movies tell a tale of how a nation can unite and fight against common evils in the world. There are sacrifices to be made, but in the end good triumphs over bad.

It’s in the news often, it worries many people, but this threat that plagues our nation can be overcome. We shall unite against this evil just as portrayed.

I’m sure you guessed it by now, but I am of course talking about the threat of godless killing machines known as Snakes. And the movie that will inspire everyone to fight this evil, is Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane!

Samuel L. Jackson plays a brave hero destined to fight the evil on board a commercial plane full of innocent passengers.

The raw emotion of their struggle hit me in a soft spot. The raw emotion, anger, confusion, frustration, pain, and agony aboard this doomed flight was captured by wonderful acting of a very believable script.

Such lines as “Turn this bitch motherfucker left!” "Great, snakes of crack" & “I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!” give the viewer a real sense of what these people were feeling.

It changed me, it really did. I cried, the sacrifices that the deceased made to fight those motherfucking snakes and save that motherfucking plane taught me how selfless people can be.

The characters represented a very diverse group of Americans, insanely loud FBI agents, nosey kids, snobbish businessmen, health-obsessed celebrities, no fear PDA couples, and spoiled beauty queens all added the good example of how diverse Americans are, and how in the end, we can all struggle together.

It’s very simple, people who do not appreciate the greatness of this film are un-American. If it does not inspire them to fight the snake threat, then they can move their asses to Siberia, where they can freeze and wish they were around the snake’s favorable warm-climate.

See it. Laugh, cry, and most of all, feel for all the brave people who so gallaintly gave their lives, to help get those motherfucking snakes of that motherfucking plane!